August
11, 2013
Dear Randy,
I cannot believe it’s been four years today since you left
this earth. I still think about
you every day. I miss your crazy
sense of humor and your generosity and your smile, even in the midst of
cancer. I miss telling you about
my day and I definitely miss the things you did that I can’t or don’t want to
do – from dealing with electronics to paying bills to yard work. And I could go on and on (and often do J)
It’s hard to ask others to help with the things I can’t do,
so generally, I try to hire people to do things around the house. Sometimes, I ask friends or neighbors
for help and they are almost always more than willing to help and are very kind
about it. But everyone is busy with
their own lives and not necessarily tuned into my needs – imagine that? And when I feel like I’m intruding into
their lives, I miss talking to you about that L. You were such a good listener – you should
have been the chaplain!
My life is much the same as when you were here, but
different in a few ways. Since our
sweet Sophie is in heaven with you, I have a new puppy - Ellie Rose – rescued
at a little over two weeks old.
She is five months old now and the light of my life, along with
Lucy. Usually there are a few
foster dogs here as well. You and
I never thought about fostering or I think we would have done it, especially
when you were healthy. Without you,
having a few extra dogs definitely seems to be right for me. I’m pretty sure you would approve
(well, except for the bed sharing!).
I focus a little more on my health, for several
reasons. I tell people that you often said, “Drugs should be for recreation,” so I worked to get off of
prescription drugs. I try to eat
healthy and exercise and avoid chemicals whenever possible. Some people may think I’m a little
crazy, but thankfully, it works for me!
I’m volunteering as a chaplain at the Cancer Institute at
UAMS, because it holds a special place in my heart. They may not have saved your life, but they were part of
giving you a little more quality and quantity, as was MD Anderson. I will always be grateful to Dr. Colman
and to Dr. Hutchins and their teams for what they did for us.
I’ve traveled some, but it's just not as much fun
without you. You were such a good travel
agent and companion. I hope
to go to Rome next year while Amanda and family are there. You probably know I am Nick’s
godmother, which has given me so much joy. I love staying connected to Amanda and the rest of the
Wilcox family, especially because of your love for them and vice versa. It is really important to me to stay close
to the people who knew you and loved you.
I don’t see all of them as often as I’d like (even the local folks), but I appreciate them more
than they will ever know.
I am thankful to God for the 25 years we had together and
for the very positive impact you had on my life. I will always miss you…. I will always love you.
Karen
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