My dreams have been so strange the last few weeks. In almost all of them, I am waiting for Randy somewhere, knowing he is sick or dying, or even dead, and suddenly he shows up walking and talking. I am elated and keep telling him I can’t believe it and he just looks at me like I’m a bit crazy. I never get to talk to him one-on-one, but I’m still on a cloud when I wake up and realize it’s all a dream. I try to snuggle up tighter and go back to the dream with Randy being “normal.” After a few minutes I give up and try to think of something else, but nothing seems to work except getting up and starting my day.

I really don’t brood on this during the day, but it is a strange thing when it happens. One of the major things that I do to get through the hardest days is read. There are so many wonderful books and songs and online columns, etc. They all inspire me to write and so many subjects sound interesting, but trying to focus on one “idea” is more difficult, as you can tell from today’s writing!

I have started a new online daily devotional, just in time for Lent. It is a wonderful calming and soothing way to start each day and I am glad to share it with you:

www.journeytothecross.org

This week’s writer has several times mentioned something that gets my attention each time, which is reminding me that God is my lifetime companion. Of course, this isn’t news to me, but having lost a lifetime companion in Randy, it is very comforting to think of God in this way. So much of the time on this earth is spent focusing on our earthly companions (and I know I couldn’t make it without them!), it’s refreshing to remember we have a lifetime companion, whatever happens to us here.

Another recent inspiration came to me from a friend who played me a song from her iPhone. It’s called “What Faith Can Do” (by Kutless). It’s a beautiful song for listening, but the words are also very encouraging. I had to come home and download the album and get the lyrics that night! I’ll include the lyrics here, as they are so much better than anything I could write today…..

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise.

So, until next time…..Keep the faith!